Dealing with Pre-teens

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Dealing with Pre-teens

Post  Anybugger on Tue Apr 28, 2009 10:42 am

Any advice on dealing with Pre-teens would be most gratefully received.
I have a boy of 9 who is has always been hard work, As my DH says he is me.
Stroppy, determined, a bit arogant, kind of "know it all". Deep down he is a sweet child who wants to please but more and more I find myself unable to relate to him in the way I can with the other two.
As the eldest (none of my sisters have any children yet) he has always wanted to be grown up, he doesn't want to do what he is told,
Whenever does something wrong we tell him, explain why etc but it goes in one ear and out the other.
Stopping treats has no effect, same with pocket money/DS/ anything really.
He just does silly things like trying to light the stove to make tea, or putting toast under the grill because he thinks he's old enough. It drives me mad,
I am seriously considering boarding which I never would have done previously. Guess that makes me a bad mum!!!
ARRRGGGHH

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Re: Dealing with Pre-teens

Post  Jeliwobble on Tue Apr 28, 2009 3:29 pm

LOL...I could have written that post! Well, change the gender and take away the dingbat boy destroying tendencies.

You just have to keep going. Be prepared to repeat yourself ad nauseum. Keep threatening the removal of treats. The DS removal has to be for a week but I find it usually has to come with removal of EVERYTHING. She just shrugs and says 'Can I go on the computer?' instead, so I tend to remove ALL electronic privileges! Much as she likes reading, she gets really cranky if that's all she's allowed to do!

The best kind of discipline for her is the old 'We're SO disappointed' and 'It doesn't bother me! It's you who've messed up, it's you who's ruined your chances, no one else!'. That REALLY gets to her. If she can blame someone else, she does, so if you can show her that it's no one else's fault, she gets really annoyed.

There are times I wish I could send her back to the UK to stay with Nanny for a while... Boarding is supposed to work better for boys than girls but I've always wondered why bother having babies if you don't want them around you. And if you do it for one, you've got to do it for all three, which could get VERY expensive!

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Re: Dealing with Pre-teens

Post  Anybugger on Tue Apr 28, 2009 3:43 pm

Thanks Jo, He just gets to me sometimes, always has to have the last word, be right.
I know he is just me!!!!
Poor Matt!
We do the disappointed thing but in one ear and out the other, I was telling him off in the car the other day and he was playing the Ds in the back whilst saying "yes I know"
I could have pulled over and slapped him!!!!

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Re: Dealing with Pre-teens

Post  mummyloves3 on Tue Apr 28, 2009 4:08 pm

U could try a good old fashuned smack. Neva did me any harm. I wuz a lickle bitch when I was ickle - soon as me mum said she wuld smak me I leggd it and wuz good.
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Re: Dealing with Pre-teens

Post  Anybugger on Tue Apr 28, 2009 5:33 pm

mummyloves3 wrote:U could try a good old fashuned smack. Neva did me any harm. I wuz a lickle bitch when I was ickle - soon as me mum said she wuld smak me I leggd it and wuz good.

The trouble with that is that he is almost as big as me!! Its no threat to him as it wouldn't hurt. Also as he gets older I want him to "want" to be good

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Re: Dealing with Pre-teens

Post  Jeliwobble on Tue Apr 28, 2009 7:23 pm

Hmmm. I NEVER have a go if I can't see her face and she's doing something else. Can anyone say 'brick wall'? She's getting a disturbing tendency to walk away when I'm still going strong, because she's decided she's had enough as well, which winds me up to spitting point, so she gets a time out in her room when that happens as I don't want to smack her, though I'm super tempted (which is not to say she doesn't get a smack everyso often, just not when I'm angry) but, of course, with a time out, she's won. I've had to stop having a go!

GAH!

I'm tempted to start with the busy work if she keeps on. Yes. Lines! I shall make her sit and do lines! Twisted Evil

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