Online bullying

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Online bullying

Post  Lou81 on Sun Apr 26, 2009 2:09 am

We all know it happens.....

Why do people (really talking about adults) resort to it?

Do you ever feel like you can't express yourself online for fear of someone disecting every letter your type or looking for an excuse to put you down?

Does forum bullying effect your RL?
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Re: Online bullying

Post  Guest on Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:39 pm

LOL - well, I've witnessed a fair bit of this recently on a certain parenting forum!

It does happen, more than I ever realised.

I genuinely believe it's done by people who are very weak IRL. I am positive the people who do it wouldn't be nearly so brave if they were face-to-face with their 'victim'. I also think there's a strong element of Pack Mentality.

I've recently had a few months of watching what I type, knowing it WILL be picked up on (which didn't bother me too much) ... but I've also seen other people being too scared to post to certain groups because they are unsure of themselves and can't bear the idea of their posts being picked apart. That saddens and angers me.

I think certain people need to immerse themselves IRL once in a while, lol. Maybe then they'd see how ridiculous they are being to other people. And how hurtful it can be to someone with 'issues' of their own to be picked apart in online forums.

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Re: Online bullying

Post  Colette67 on Sun Apr 26, 2009 2:34 pm

I have never been bullied online but this is probably because I don't give a toss what people think of what I post or what my opinions are.

If people get their kicks out of trying to bully someone else who they don't know then let these internet warriors get on with it, they will get no fun out of me. I post what I want and never would change my style to suit.

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Re: Online bullying

Post  Guest on Sun Apr 26, 2009 3:55 pm

Good on you, Colette!!
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Re: Online bullying

Post  Anybugger on Thu Apr 30, 2009 4:54 pm

I agree withthe idea of pack mentality, I don't suppose for one moment that all of the people who make harsh comments on the internet would do so in real life.
I think that there becomes an acceptance of certain behaviour, ie correcting mistakes, which then escalates into an attitude that transends many issues.
The main difficulty of course is that it is difficult to read the tone in which a piece is written.
many times I am sarcastic in a post and that may not be understood by the reader.

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Re: Online bullying

Post  Slinky on Thu Apr 30, 2009 6:04 pm

I've always thought that online bullying was a bit of a myth. After all, no one pays you or forces you to go on sites.. But recently, my opinions have changed. On *another forum* I felt humilated and was so upset.. things get said, things get repeated all over the place.. other people get drawn into it.
I started dreading turning on the pc, because I knew there would be more of it.

I don't mind when people disagree with me.. I like it.. I know that I am quite rigid in my beliefs, opinions about some things.. but when your words are used against you..when throwaway comments you have made are never allowed to be forgotten.. it's hurtful.

I do still sort of believe that if things upset you that much.. stay away from the pc. However, I have no idea what else I would do with my time. I may actually have to pay attention to the children.

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Re: Online bullying

Post  Mushroom on Thu Apr 30, 2009 8:34 pm

I have cum across some real bitch's on another site. The slag you off all over the place an the managment do feck all. I even saw peeps delibratly telling all there storys about all this bad stuff hapening to them so the wudnt get in troubel. I felt sory for them goin thru shit but it was so plain they was being sly.

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Re: Online bullying

Post  KoJaq on Thu Apr 30, 2009 8:53 pm

I know it happens, and to be honest as part of a particular group I felt that the group was often attacked, and therefore I was made to feel unwelcome elsewhere. However, I have not been on the receiving end personally...yet.

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Re: Online bullying

Post  Moomin76 on Thu Apr 30, 2009 9:43 pm

I really don't know why people do it - I think it's a very strange thing to get a kick out of and means that your rl must be extremely sad. I do think that there are people who don't actually realise they're doing it though. I also think that there are people who feel bullied, but who actually aren't (iyswim).

I've been on the receiving end of some nasty stuff, but I wouldn't call it bullying. It did affect my rl and stopped me posting for a while because I couldn't take anymore of it (and I knew I would get more if I did post). I kept telling myself that I shouldn't be letting it bother me, but I just couldn't switch off from it. Part of the problem is that on a forum I feel honour bound to stick to the rules and that meant not saying a lot of stuff that I wanted to and couldn't defend myself the way I would have otherwise done.
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Re: Online bullying

Post  Mushroom on Thu Apr 30, 2009 9:48 pm

Moomin76 if people dont no they are doing it how do me or u no we arent?

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Online bullying

Post  Sassybabe on Thu Apr 30, 2009 11:14 pm

I think it's sad that people can't act like adults and respect other people's right to their own opinion. You may not agree with someone's point of view, but it doesn't give you the right to personally attack them. Perhaps the online forums 'de-personalise' the relationship making it easier to forget that you are talking to a real person with real feelings?
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Re: Online bullying

Post  Mushroom on Thu Apr 30, 2009 11:24 pm

i think your right sassybaby. people think it allright to be nasty cos they cant see how upset people is but then if you tell people your hurt they act lik your lyeing or being a drama queen

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Re: Online bullying

Post  Moomin76 on Thu Apr 30, 2009 11:26 pm

Mushroom wrote:Moomin76 if people dont no they are doing it how do me or u no we arent?

We don't. All we can do is try to be respectful to other posters and take constructive criticism if others tell us we're out of order.
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Re: Online bullying

Post  EeeGee on Thu Apr 30, 2009 11:48 pm

Sassybabe wrote:Perhaps the online forums 'de-personalise' the relationship making it easier to forget that you are talking to a real person with real feelings?
I think you've hit the nail right on the head there. That's what I think happens.

And also I think people make snap judgements about others by the way they "talk" (read: type) and assume that they are a certain type of person. (I know I've been guilty of that in the past Embarassed I now make no assumptions about anyone if I can help it at all)
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Re: Online bullying

Post  Mushroom on Thu Apr 30, 2009 11:57 pm

EeeGee wrote:
Sassybabe wrote:Perhaps the online forums 'de-personalise' the relationship making it easier to forget that you are talking to a real person with real feelings?
I think you've hit the nail right on the head there. That's what I think happens.

And also I think people make snap judgements about others by the way they "talk" (read: type) and assume that they are a certain type of person. (I know I've been guilty of that in the past Embarassed I now make no assumptions about anyone if I can help it at all)

I always think people who delibrately use long coplicated words are lookin down at me. i think on another site i am on sum peeps do it delbrately and thats like bullying.

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Re: Online bullying

Post  Cadiva on Tue May 12, 2009 9:38 pm

Unfortunately the beauty of the internet - its anonymity - is also its biggest failing. This gives a certain type of person, usually those who in reality are nothing like their online persona, what they think of as a free playground to be deliberately hurtful to others.

I've been using the internet since the mid 1990s and I've seen it on every type of forum irrespective of the subject matter. You can, however, usually spot the people who are going to be like that by the way they post and the language they use.

The grammar police are a slightly different breed and I do occasionally fall into that trap myself because I've been a journalist for 20 years and the current prevalence for text speak drives me insane, but I don't have a problem with people who aren't necessarily as articulate as other posters. So long as it's written out properly and I can understand it, that works for me as I moderate on an international forum that has a lot of people who don't have English as a first language.

Online bullying should always be reported to the administrators of whatever forum it's on as usually, if nipped in the bud, it won't escalate into the full scale slanging matches and cliques developing that can happen.

One of the worst places I've seen it lately was on Digital Spy where someone who should know better (a Crown Prosecution Lawyer no less) managed to make another poster's life hell over a TV programme!
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