Arranged Marriages

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Arranged Marriages

Post  Admin on Wed Apr 22, 2009 10:35 pm

Do you think arranged marriages are ever a good idea?

Have you had an arranged marriage?

Do you know anyone who has?

Do you think it's an outdated, repressive tradition?

Do you think it should be 'allowed' in modern Britian?
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Arranged Marriages

Post  Sassybabe on Fri Apr 24, 2009 12:46 am

I always thought arranged marriages were an awful thing. Two virtual strangers thrust together by their families for some reason other than their true happiness. But then I watched a dating programme (yes I know it's sad) where they used the traditional methods of matching two people for an arranged marriage in Asian culture and matched western couples. They looked at age, background, family values, aspirations, academic qualifications, had in-depth interviews with each 'candidate' etc. And there were definitely some promising matches. Let's face it, the 'spark' that so many people look for can fade, and you've got to build a friendship, an equal partnership, to make a marriage work. It made me question my knee-jerk reaction to the thought of arranged marriages. But . . . having said that, I married the man I fell in love with - we met, eyes across a crowded room and all that - and we're still together after 20 years! And we're pretty much opposites! I was a studious geek and he was a long-haired tattooed rebel. (He's not now - well he's still tattooed but he no longer has the hair or teenage rebel-head streak). I hope that doesn't come back when DH hits 40 . . . Cool . . . but I digress. (You may find this is a pattern with my posts). I know I haven't really drawn any conclusions on my opinion of this matter, but I guess I am content that I was made to question a long held and possibly wrong opinion.
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Re: Arranged Marriages

Post  sunset30 on Wed Apr 29, 2009 9:26 am

In my head, I can't equate it with freedom, which I find troubling, however, it is statistically true that these marriages last longer that "regular" marriages, and I think I see, from reading the pp why that might be. I guess it depends on the motives of the people doing the arranging - and that is rarely in any way what we might call "bad"

I suppose that for some it is a restriction, and for others it is simply a cultural way of life.
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